Nothing erodes trust between a parent and teenager as much as lying. There may be feelings of anger toward the teen when a parent realizes they’ve been lied to. Even though teens and lies seem to go hand-in-hand at times, you want to know what steps to take to help your teen stop lying.

There may be many reasons why teenagers lie. They could have fallen in with bad influences and turn to lying to fit in. They may also lie because they feel bad about themselves and the lies help them feel better. Lying could also be a defense mechanism. The fact is, however, no matter what their reasons, you want your teen to know lying can have unpleasant consequences in the future.

Unfortunately, parents usually consider lying to be more serious than teens. Parents feel it is their responsibility to teach their teens how to be honest and avoid lying. They may even feel guilty or like a failure if their teen continues in this potentially destructive behavior. Here are some things to consider:

1. Realize that your teen will lie to you. Try not to be too shocked at the prospect and try to realize they’re not necessarily trying to hurt you. Being detached and objective will help you recognize when your teen is lying.

2. If your teen is lying, they’ll probably become defensive if you ask them for ways to check up on what they’re saying. Becoming defensive or throwing fits when you want to check their story could be a sure sign they aren’t being truthful.

3. Anyone who lies will avoid looking you directly in the eyes when telling you their story, or they look you in the eyes for too long. Pay attention to your teen’s actions when you talk to them and you’ll notice a difference when they are lying.

4. Those lying may also avoid details, fidget, or touch their face and mouth. They also won’t be able to keep their story straight if they have to tell it again.

If you suspect your teen is lying to you, deal with the situation immediately. Explain to them that you want to trust them and lying erodes your trust. Unfortunately, once trust is broken it isn’t easy to get it back. Don’t try to trap them in a lie; in effect that would be as dishonest as the lie they may tell. You may ask them to check in with you if you’re concerned that they’re hiding where they’re going.

Tell them what you expect out of them - that you want and need them to be honest with you. You’ll also want to inform them of clear consequences for being caught in a lie.

Teach them by example. If your teen hears you lying, even about something that may not seem important, you’re not being a good example for them. Expecting your teen to be honest means you’ll need to be honest, too.

Teens and lies don’t have to be a part of your life if you know what steps to take to break the habit before it gets too ingrained in their character. Worst even if it gets to become serious rooted from a child behavior problem in the past. Learn to recognize signs of their lying, address the situation right away, and explain that you expect better of them. They may rise to the occasion.

After the infant and toddler days of your kids, now it is time to accept that they are now called young children. They are now on the stage of being preschoolers. Living with preschoolers is never dull. They are funny to watch and even funnier to listen to. They have great imaginations and tell wonderful stories. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s hard to tell if their stories are lies and if what they say is wishful thinking or a need to feel good about themselves.

One day you may hear them running around claiming to be able to fly and walk through walls. The next day they’re blaming the cat for taking all the pans out of the cabinet. You may not know whether to laugh at them or scold them for not telling the truth.

Unfortunately, children will lie occasionally. It’s a natural part of their development, but that doesn’t mean it’s cute and can be overlooked. In fact, as a parent, you want to teach them to be honest. You want to know why they choose to lie and how to get them to stop.

Preschoolers can come up with some wild stories and they’re not trying to be deceptive when they tell stories. They merely have great imaginations and can’t easily tell the difference between reality and fantasy. So, when your child tells you a purple race car made the mess in their room, their intent is not to lie; it’s just their overactive imagination getting the best of them.

Children this age lie for a variety of reasons. They were caught drawing on the wall and wish they hadn’t been caught. Instead of getting angry with them, calmly tell them that the rules of the house are to draw on paper, not walls. Then offer to help them clean the mess up but make sure they do the majority of the work.

Tease them if they come up with a wild story. If they tell you a gorilla visited them at school, ask if it was a story or if it is the truth. Most likely they’ll admit they were joking. You can then ask them what would really happen if a gorilla had shown up at school.

If you catch them in an actual lie, explain to them the importance of telling the truth. Don’t come right out and accuse them of being a liar, but encourage them to always be honest. Reassure them you won’t get angry with them if they tell you the truth. Explain that honesty is always the best policy. When they do come to you with the truth, be sure to praise them for their honesty.

Remember, if you expect your preschooler to be honest, you’ll want to model honesty for them. Even though it may be difficult, this means you’ll want to be aware of any “little white lies” you may tell to spare someone’s feelings. If they hear you lie after you’ve told them to never tell a lie, they’ll be confused.

You may think your preschooler is too young to teach them about honesty, but it’s really the best time to start. They may tell stories that are wishful thinking or a need to feel good about something, but they need to know that lying is wrong. The earlier you start, the more time they’ll have to practise honesty.