Parents try to do their best to teach their children to be honest, but the fact is many children lie anyhow. If this tendency isn’t dealt with while the child is young, parents may soon find they have a teenager that lies for any reason. With that kind of child behavior problem, you may be asking yourself, “When is lying a serious problem?”

Most people know what lying is. For those who don’t, according to Webster’s Dictionary (1913) lying is defined as the act of uttering “falsehood with an intention to deceive; to say or do that which is intended to deceive another.”

Some parents feel lying of any kind is a serious problem because it could mean there is a deeper character issue. Lying in teenagers could mean they are involved in drug or alcohol abuse, problems at school, or even worse, crime. Here are some guidelines to let you know if your teen may need the help of a professional psychologist to deal with their lying problem.

Young children can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality and therefore appear to be lying. Older children begin to understand the difference between truth and a lie, but may lie to avoid punishment. They may also lie to protect the feelings of others. Teens are expected to know the difference but when they lie continually your concerns may be warranted.

If your teen does any of the following, you may decide they have a serious problem:

* Lie to get attention
* Lie to take advantage of others
* Lie to avoid dealing with demands of parents, friends, or teachers
* Lie to hide drug or alcohol use
* Lie as a means to manipulate another

When you catch your teen in a lie, you may have a serious discussion with your teen about lying. You’ve probably explained the importance of honesty and how lying can erode your trust in them. You may have also given them consequences for lying. It could be that talking and consequences haven’t had an effect on them.

Does your teen resort to telling lies whenever they want to avoid something? Do you catch them telling lies about where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing? How quickly does your teen cover up one lie when they’re caught by telling another? If these are common occurrences, your teen may have a chronic lying problem which requires professional intervention.

What type of health issues may cause a teen to be a chronic liar? Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, or learning disabilities are some conditions your teen may have which hadn’t been diagnosed in the past. Psychological counseling may help determine a course of action to combat your child’s problem.

If you find your teen lying too often, try not to take it as a failure on your part. You know how you’ve taught them, so you’ve done your part. Maybe you haven’t known when lying is a serious problem before; now you’ll have a better idea and a possible course of action for the future.

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Even though you may not think your child is old enough, you may want to learn how to talk to them about alcohol and drug abuse at an early age rather than waiting. If you wait too long, it may be too late. Every year more and more children begin experimenting with drugs and alcohol, which could lead to a lifelong child behavior problem with substance abuse.

If you begin telling children how you feel about drug and alcohol use while they’re young, you’ll have a better chance of instilling that same belief in them. Talk about how drugs and alcohol in terms they will understand. Explain that people who use them sometimes hurt other people because they can’t control their actions.

You can also explain to them how people who use alcohol and drugs are hurting themselves. Drug and alcohol use causes damage to the body in any number of ways. You can help your child avoid developing serious health issues related to substance abuse by talking to them early and often about it.

Talk to your children of all ages about keeping a healthy mind and body. Give them some ideas of things to do (eat a healthy diet, exercise, and get plenty of rest) and things to avoid (drugs, alcohol, overeating, and being sedentary). You may also tell them how important it is for you, as a parent, to know they understand the importance of staying healthy.

When it comes to older children, of course you’ll want to continue talking to them about your feelings toward alcohol and drug abuse. Another way you can encourage them to abstain is by leading by example. If they see you drinking often they may be less inclined to believe it’s something to avoid. In fact, if you drink or use recreational drugs the chances are higher that they’ll feel drugs and alcohol are alright for them, too.

If you’ve been talking to your children about drugs and alcohol since they were young, keep doing that. As they get older and understand more, you may want to be more specific when you talk about the damage alcohol and drugs can do to your body. Find pictures on the internet of accidents caused by drunk drivers. Pull together pamphlets from anti-drug organizations that are geared toward children. They may be able to explain the seriousness of alcohol and drug use better than you could ever do.

Take time to listen. If your children ask questions about drugs or alcohol, listen to what they’re really asking and try to figure out why. More than anything you’ll want to do your best to keep the lines of communication open with them. They want to know you care and one way you can do so is to give them guidance, especially about such a serious topic.

Learning how to talk to your kids about alcohol and drug abuse isn’t difficult but it can make parents uncomfortable. There are organizations that provide guidance and you’re encouraged to use them. However, if you start talking to them about it while they’re young, they are more likely to listen to your advice and know you have their best interest at heart.

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Nothing erodes trust between a parent and teenager as much as lying. There may be feelings of anger toward the teen when a parent realizes they’ve been lied to. Even though teens and lies seem to go hand-in-hand at times, you want to know what steps to take to help your teen stop lying.

There may be many reasons why teenagers lie. They could have fallen in with bad influences and turn to lying to fit in. They may also lie because they feel bad about themselves and the lies help them feel better. Lying could also be a defense mechanism. The fact is, however, no matter what their reasons, you want your teen to know lying can have unpleasant consequences in the future.

Unfortunately, parents usually consider lying to be more serious than teens. Parents feel it is their responsibility to teach their teens how to be honest and avoid lying. They may even feel guilty or like a failure if their teen continues in this potentially destructive behavior. Here are some things to consider:

1. Realize that your teen will lie to you. Try not to be too shocked at the prospect and try to realize they’re not necessarily trying to hurt you. Being detached and objective will help you recognize when your teen is lying.

2. If your teen is lying, they’ll probably become defensive if you ask them for ways to check up on what they’re saying. Becoming defensive or throwing fits when you want to check their story could be a sure sign they aren’t being truthful.

3. Anyone who lies will avoid looking you directly in the eyes when telling you their story, or they look you in the eyes for too long. Pay attention to your teen’s actions when you talk to them and you’ll notice a difference when they are lying.

4. Those lying may also avoid details, fidget, or touch their face and mouth. They also won’t be able to keep their story straight if they have to tell it again.

If you suspect your teen is lying to you, deal with the situation immediately. Explain to them that you want to trust them and lying erodes your trust. Unfortunately, once trust is broken it isn’t easy to get it back. Don’t try to trap them in a lie; in effect that would be as dishonest as the lie they may tell. You may ask them to check in with you if you’re concerned that they’re hiding where they’re going.

Tell them what you expect out of them - that you want and need them to be honest with you. You’ll also want to inform them of clear consequences for being caught in a lie.

Teach them by example. If your teen hears you lying, even about something that may not seem important, you’re not being a good example for them. Expecting your teen to be honest means you’ll need to be honest, too.

Teens and lies don’t have to be a part of your life if you know what steps to take to break the habit before it gets too ingrained in their character. Worst even if it gets to become serious rooted from a child behavior problem in the past. Learn to recognize signs of their lying, address the situation right away, and explain that you expect better of them. They may rise to the occasion.

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Stealing is one of the most common acts that children get involved in, especially during their school life. Some do it consciously. Most of them seize other people’s belonging unconsciously. At this age, children cannot differentiate between their things and those of others and hence, steal. The act of stealing, which has become a prevalent child behavior problem, is an immediate concern for parents.

But before taking any corrective steps, they must try to find out the reason why their child is indulging in such a behavior. There are several facts that compel children to steal, such as low self-esteem, peer pressure, etc. It might also be possible that they do not have friends and are trying to ‘buy’ their friends.

Reasons Why Do School Children Steal

Lack of Proper Understanding
Small children are naïve and cannot differentiate between things that belong to them and those that other children own. They may take someone else’s things thinking it to be their own. In such a case, children are unaware of the fact that they are doing something wrong.

Lack of Self-Control
Lack of self control is also one of the reasons for stealing. Often times, it has been noted that children get attracted to things that they do not own. The urge to have it makes them steal. They do this without realizing that taking someone else’s thing is a misdeed.

Peer Pressure
Peer pressure and the need to fit in are also one of the main causes of stealing. Some children get depressed when they are rejected from a group, just because they come from a relatively poor family. The need to fit into a group with members the high class society makes them steal also.

Get Attention
Sometimes, lack of attention by parents forces children to steal. They know that by stealing they would be able to get their parents attention. Sometimes, children also indulge in the act of stealing to impress their peers.

Anger or Revenge
Children find stealing the best way to show their anger and revenge. When they are upset with someone who is more powerful than them, stealing comes across as the best option to make the other person suffer.

Feeling of Excitement
Stealing is a daring act and some children do it just to get a kick in their life. There are many kids who steal things just for the adrenalin rush and enjoy the fun of not getting caught. The act gives them a thrill.

Jealousy or Desire
The feeling of jealousy develops from childhood. The desire to have things that are beautiful or flashy may cause kids to steal. Some children are also jealous of their classmates who have attractive things. In order to have the same thing, they resort to stealing.

Whatever the reasons for the act of stealing behavior of a child, bear in mind to take into consideration the urgent need to take corrective actions to stop it. Unresolved cases like this will lead to a great possibility of future rebellions, crimes and offenses.

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