Parents try to do their best to teach their children to be honest, but the fact is many children lie anyhow. If this tendency isn’t dealt with while the child is young, parents may soon find they have a teenager that lies for any reason. With that kind of child behavior problem, you may be asking yourself, “When is lying a serious problem?”

Most people know what lying is. For those who don’t, according to Webster’s Dictionary (1913) lying is defined as the act of uttering “falsehood with an intention to deceive; to say or do that which is intended to deceive another.”

Some parents feel lying of any kind is a serious problem because it could mean there is a deeper character issue. Lying in teenagers could mean they are involved in drug or alcohol abuse, problems at school, or even worse, crime. Here are some guidelines to let you know if your teen may need the help of a professional psychologist to deal with their lying problem.

Young children can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality and therefore appear to be lying. Older children begin to understand the difference between truth and a lie, but may lie to avoid punishment. They may also lie to protect the feelings of others. Teens are expected to know the difference but when they lie continually your concerns may be warranted.

If your teen does any of the following, you may decide they have a serious problem:

* Lie to get attention
* Lie to take advantage of others
* Lie to avoid dealing with demands of parents, friends, or teachers
* Lie to hide drug or alcohol use
* Lie as a means to manipulate another

When you catch your teen in a lie, you may have a serious discussion with your teen about lying. You’ve probably explained the importance of honesty and how lying can erode your trust in them. You may have also given them consequences for lying. It could be that talking and consequences haven’t had an effect on them.

Does your teen resort to telling lies whenever they want to avoid something? Do you catch them telling lies about where they’ve been and what they’ve been doing? How quickly does your teen cover up one lie when they’re caught by telling another? If these are common occurrences, your teen may have a chronic lying problem which requires professional intervention.

What type of health issues may cause a teen to be a chronic liar? Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, bipolar disorder, or learning disabilities are some conditions your teen may have which hadn’t been diagnosed in the past. Psychological counseling may help determine a course of action to combat your child’s problem.

If you find your teen lying too often, try not to take it as a failure on your part. You know how you’ve taught them, so you’ve done your part. Maybe you haven’t known when lying is a serious problem before; now you’ll have a better idea and a possible course of action for the future.

Despite all the preparations you are doing for your child’s schooling, your child may show behaviors of their refusal to go through it.

Here are behaviors that you may find in your child.

=The child may tell you that he/she is anxious or afraid of a certain situation that happens at school (a bully in the class or may be a very strict teacher).

=The child may complain of physical symptoms such as headache and stomache that get better as soon as the child is allowed to stay home.

=Any preceding event such as new school, new house, new brother or sister, a sick brother, sister, or parent, divorce, or death  in the family may cause your child not to leave the parent. Those events may even be the cause of your child’s refusal to go to school.

Knowing the possible behaviors that your child may show will help you how to manage your resistive child.
Here are ways you can do to handle it.

Allow the child to speak and talk about his/her concerns and fears.

Slowly separate the parent from the child in school. One child care approach is to have the parent sit with the child in the classroom at first, and then the parent may attend school, but sit in another room. Next, the parent may continue to get farther away.

Return the child to school. Make sure the school officials understand the situation and do not send the child home for the wrong reasons.

Consider family counseling if other problems exist. A referral to a child psychologist or psychiatrist may be necessary if your child remains resistive to go to school.