Every adult gets angry sometimes. It’s a fact of life. Sometimes we’re just in a bad mood and something that’s not really a big deal sets us off. Other times, our anger is completely justifiable. Some of us have a short fuse, while others rarely lose their temper.
Children aren’t immune to anger, either. Anger is, after all, a completely natural emotion especially for child development. Our job as parents is not to prevent our children from ever getting angry. In order to do that, we would have to cater to their every whim, and that would be doing them a disservice. Our job is to teach them how to properly manage their anger. Here are five ways we can do that.
1. Set a good example. When you find yourself getting angry, strive to handle your emotions in an appropriate manner. Yelling, screaming and getting violent aren’t things we want our children to do when they get mad, so it’s important that we don’t do them, either. Calm yourself down in a way that you would want your child to calm down when angry, and he will usually emulate your actions.
2. Talk to your child about his feelings. When you see that he is angry, ask him to explain why. Sometimes it might be such a silly reason that by the time he gets done explaining it, he will realize that there’s nothing to be angry about. If he does feel that he has a right to be angry, talking it out will help him calm down and find a solution to the problem.
3. Encourage your child to let his anger out in an acceptable manner. When we’re really mad, sometimes we just need to release some of that negative energy before we can move on. Your child could hit a pillow, run laps around the house, or pound on some Play Doh for a while.
4. For children who are old enough to write, a journal can be helpful. When they get mad, they can write about their feelings. Once they’re down on paper, it’s easier to work them out rationally and let them go.
5. Sing with your child. Singing might be the last thing he wants to do when he’s angry, but it can help diffuse the rage. Help him make up a song about being angry, and have him sing it when he’s upset. This provides an appropriate outlet for his feelings and lightens the mood a bit so that you can effectively work out the problem.
Seeing our children angry can be difficult. But it’s important not to give in just to calm them down. Teaching them how to deal with anger will serve them much better in the long run.
“Mom, he’s touching me!” If you have more than one child, you’ve probably heard that statement or something very similar. If you’re wondering “why do my kids fight,” it might help to know it’s not just yours. In fact, you might wonder what the matter was if they didn’t fight. Here are some common reasons why siblings have arguments which can help you guide child development:
Sibling rivalry is often the source of much fighting between brothers and sisters. It may start before the new child is born because the older child already feels like their place in the family is threatened. The main reason why children fight is that they feel the need to compete for your attention and they may seriously resent having to share you with someone new. As your children get older, the fighting may continue but you can be assured they do love one another despite the tension.
Different temperaments
You know no two children are alike, even twins, so your children’s different temperaments may be part of the cause of their fighting. One child may be laid back while the other is overly dramatic. You may have one that’s clingy with your or your partner while the other is independent and wants to try everything on their own. The difference in their temperaments may cause resentment. For example, the child who is clingy may seem to get more of their parent’s attention, which in turn leads to disagreements.
Different personalities
Similarly, personality differences may also be part of the reason your children fight. Your outgoing, rambunctious child may need a friend to pal around with. If your other child is more studious, there are going to be personality clashes. Try to encourage your children to meet in the middle and do activities both will enjoy.
Jealousy
Quite often jealousy is the biggest reason children fight. One feels they don’t have the attention of their parents like their sibling, so they feel the need to fight for attention and affection. Of course, you can tell your children that you don’t have a favorite until you can’t speak anymore, but jealousy is a strong emotion to overcome.
Competition for parent’s attention
It is possible that your children feel the need to compete for your attention. To combat this tendency, and make for a more peaceful home, you might want to plan special “dates” for each child. Depending upon the number of children you have, you could plan one day a month that you or your partner spends a specific amount of time with just one child. Switch up where your partner takes the rest of the children while you go someplace with one. Be sure each child has their own “date” time with either you or your spouse so they don’t feel slighted. It may reduce the fights right away.
What can you do when your children fight? Set ground rules about disagreements long before you’re faced with children fighting. Be sure they know hitting and calling names is not allowed; anyone doing these things will face pre-determined consequences.
If possible, don’t get involved unless you think there might be bodily injury. Intervening may create other problems and your children won’t learn the important skill of conflict resolution. Wait and see how they’re able to work out their problems on their own. You might be surprised at the solutions they come up with.
Children are going to have conflicts; it’s inevitable. When you ask yourself or others “why do my kids fight?” remember it’s part of growing up. They’re learning to stand up for themselves, express themselves, and further develop their personalities.
Stealing is one of the most common acts that children get involved in, especially during their school life. Some do it consciously. Most of them seize other people’s belonging unconsciously. At this age, children cannot differentiate between their things and those of others and hence, steal. The act of stealing, which has become a prevalent child behavior problem, is an immediate concern for parents.
But before taking any corrective steps, they must try to find out the reason why their child is indulging in such a behavior. There are several facts that compel children to steal, such as low self-esteem, peer pressure, etc. It might also be possible that they do not have friends and are trying to ‘buy’ their friends.
Reasons Why Do School Children Steal
Lack of Proper Understanding
Small children are naïve and cannot differentiate between things that belong to them and those that other children own. They may take someone else’s things thinking it to be their own. In such a case, children are unaware of the fact that they are doing something wrong.
Lack of Self-Control
Lack of self control is also one of the reasons for stealing. Often times, it has been noted that children get attracted to things that they do not own. The urge to have it makes them steal. They do this without realizing that taking someone else’s thing is a misdeed.
Peer Pressure
Peer pressure and the need to fit in are also one of the main causes of stealing. Some children get depressed when they are rejected from a group, just because they come from a relatively poor family. The need to fit into a group with members the high class society makes them steal also.
Get Attention
Sometimes, lack of attention by parents forces children to steal. They know that by stealing they would be able to get their parents attention. Sometimes, children also indulge in the act of stealing to impress their peers.
Anger or Revenge
Children find stealing the best way to show their anger and revenge. When they are upset with someone who is more powerful than them, stealing comes across as the best option to make the other person suffer.
Feeling of Excitement
Stealing is a daring act and some children do it just to get a kick in their life. There are many kids who steal things just for the adrenalin rush and enjoy the fun of not getting caught. The act gives them a thrill.
Jealousy or Desire
The feeling of jealousy develops from childhood. The desire to have things that are beautiful or flashy may cause kids to steal. Some children are also jealous of their classmates who have attractive things. In order to have the same thing, they resort to stealing.
Whatever the reasons for the act of stealing behavior of a child, bear in mind to take into consideration the urgent need to take corrective actions to stop it. Unresolved cases like this will lead to a great possibility of future rebellions, crimes and offenses.